Ad Hominem Howie

A Logical Fallacy Parable for your kids.

A Logical Fallacy is a bad way of thinking.

“Ad Hominem” is Latin for “to the man.” An Ad Hominem fallacy means you attacked an idea by insulting someone, not saying a real reason why the idea itself is bad.

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Howie loved kickball. He’d only been on his school’s team for two weeks, but he loved the kicking and running and the strategy of how to win. Keep the strongest catchers on the left side of the outfield, because right-footed kickers mostly kicked that way. Alternate the kicking lineup between good and not-so-good kickers to make sure there was always someone to kick the runners home.

He thought of lots of things that Sarah, the team leader, didn’t always seem to think of. That’s probably why their team had lost their last game by just one run.

If I’d been the leader, we would have definitely won, thought Howie. Maybe it’s time for a change. I bet the other players would like to win more, too. I bet they’d like me to be the leader.

Howie decided to do something about it. Everyone had voted Sarah to be the leader at the beginning of the season, but that could change. Especially if Howie showed them he’s the better choice.

I have to do what I have to do, decided Howie.

During the next practice, Howie started talking to some of his teammates. "You know,” he murmured to a couple of them, “Sarah grew up in Idaho, right? She only moved here a couple years ago. Did you know that they don’t play kickball hardly at all in Idaho?”

“So?” said Marcus, “Why does it matter where she’s from?”

“I read on the internet that because it’s so cold in Idaho, they can’t play kickball during the school year. I’m just saying…I wouldn’t want someone from the hottest parts of Texas to lead my igloo-building team.” whispered Howie.

“I don’t know, man,” said Evan, “Sarah’s a pretty good coach, and she was on the team last year, too.” Then Evan ran off to chase a ball that had just been kicked over his head.

Howie rolled his eyes and leaned over to Marcus. “Well, of course Evan would say that. Anyone that sits in the front of the class is probably a teacher’s pet, and I bet a teacher’s pet is also a team leader’s pet.”

Marcus laughed, “I don’t know, man…”

“Us back-of-the-classroom people see how things really are, ya know?” Howie elbowed Marcus’s ribs. “But I’m just saying, if I were team leader, I would definitely make a strong kicker like you the lead-off kicker.”

After the practice, Howie walked up to a couple other players.

“I sure wish you two had been in the outfield that last game.”

“Why?” Trish asked.

“Well, you know, just like I do, that at the end of that game their best kickers were coming up. I would have switched you out there to catch any big kicks because you’re a great catcher. But some team leaders just don’t see things as clearly as me and you do, I guess. But then, what do you expect from a team leader that wears such thick glasses?”

Trish rolled her eyes, but also chuckled a little, “Dude, that’s rough, Howie.”

Howie made a show of squinting his eyes and copied Sarah’s voice as best he could, “Oh, I can’t see what you’re talking about. I can’t see anything at all!”

Trish giggled, “Hah-haha, stop it, Howie!” But she was smiling, and Howie knew he’d moved his plan forward.

Howie did this over and over again for the next couple of weeks, telling people that Sarah wasn’t strong enough to be the leader because she had cried that time she had skinned her knee. He told people that whoever the team leader should be, it should be someone who was already twelve, like Howie…not an 11-year-old kid like Sarah.

“Life experience matters.” Howie said, with his most grown-up-sounding voice.

At the end of the Tuesday’s practice, Sarah announced that several people had come to her to talk about a change in the team. And she said it was an important change and everyone needed to be at Thursday’s practice in order to vote on it.

That night and all day Wednesday Howie was so excited! All his hard work to make Sarah look bad had worked! Soon he’d have a good chance of being voted the new leader. People loved it when people made them laugh, and he’d done plenty of that with his “observations” about Sarah. And with all he’d done to make them doubt her, there’s no way she would win any vote to stay as leader.

Howie wasn’t just excited, though. He also felt powerful. He was able to get other people to do what he wanted, and all he had to do was to get them to realize all those things about Sarah. He could do that to anyone that got in his way.

At the beginning of Thursday’s practice, Sarah gathered everyone around.

“I really didn’t want to hold this vote,” Sarah said, with some real sadness in her voice, “but I had a lot of people ask me to hold it, so that’s what we are going to do.”

Ha! I can’t believe this is really happening, thought Howie, I did it!

“We are voting today to decide whether to kick Howie off the team.”

Howie’s heart fell into his stomach.

“You all know why…he’s been talking bad about other people behind their backs… mostly me, I guess. Everyone says they don’t like it, that it hurts the team to have people insulting teammates behind their back. So we are going to vote. Put your vote in this hat.”

When the votes were counted, Howie was voted off the team, 9-2.

“I’m sorry, Howie,” said Sarah, “but you need to leave now, and you can’t be on our kickball team with us any more.”

At home, Howie’s dad asked him why he was home early, and why his eyes were all red like he’d been crying. When Howie explained what happened, he told the truth to his Dad.

“We are going to have a lot of long talks about that behavior, Howie. That is completely unacceptable! But first, you need to apologize to Sarah. Your attacks must have really hurt her.”

So the next morning, Howie went to Sarah.

“I’m sorry I talked bad about you to the other players, Sarah. I shouldn’t have done that, and I won’t do it again,” Howie said, looking at his toes.

“I’m choosing to forgive you, Howie…but I don’t really believe you or your apology,” said Sarah, with a flat voice.

“Why don’t you believe me?” Howie asked.

Sarah looked him in the eyes, sadly. “Because I don’t trust insulters.”

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Discussion Questions:

1) Why do you think Howie used insults instead of good reasons to try to get people to vote out Sarah from being team leader?

2) Has anyone ever tried to make your ideas sound bad by insulting you? How did that feel?

3) A fallacy is a bad way of thinking. Is insulting a person a smart way to talk about their ideas?

4) Why do you think Sarah forgave Howie, even though she didn’t believe his apology?

It is very important that we treat people with respect. It is also very important that we see when other people are using the Ad Hominem fallacy, and point it out as a bad thing. Not just because it’s mean, but also because it’s bad thinking that doesn’t work.

And no matter what, don’t be an Ad Hominem Howie!